I know…they are young adults, but I’m sure you are the same as me and still see them as too young to be moving away.
My son went to Uni in Aberdeen some what 500 miles away, a 10 hour drive. Now he works in Equatorial Guinea and lives in Taiwan, not sure if he’s trying to tell me something, but I still see him as my little boy.😊
I had and have the reassurance that he can protect himself because of his self-defence training skills, which enables him to be aware, avoid and de-escalate situations, and if the circumstance warrant him to defend himself physically…he has the knowledge to do that too.
He was less likely to be assaulted as he was MALE.
Data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) shows that between March 2018 and March 2020, students in England and Wales were over three times more likely than average to have experienced sexual assault.
Im not saying males don’t get sexually assaulted, it’s just a higher percentage are female then male that have experienced sexual violence, nearly 3 times more likely.
70% of female students and grads as oppose to 26% of male students and grads (revoltsexualassault.com)
Generally we teach our kids life skills, like how to use a washing machine, as there are no clothes fairies, cooking? well im sure they already know how to use a microwave.
We prepare them for the little bumps and hurdles that the world can throw at us, and usually get the roll of the eyes and “what do you know” look.
We tell them not to talk to strangers, and use common sense, which are great life skills, but everyone is going to be a stranger in uni and they need to make new friends and build trust in people, rely on their intuition, gut feeling on people and their ability to read situations.
So crossing that empty park at dusk, walking down the street at night, avoiding groups of people that just don’t feel right is fairly straight forward and common sense and we can rest easy that we have taught them well.
Sexually assaults are not on the whole from random predators that attack them on their way back from the pub or social event, but from people that they know (57%), with 75% being another student.
The most common locations on campus for sexual assaults are halls of residence, social events and shops.
Ok, so some of you may be thinking this is just yet more scaremongery like shortage of petrol and diesel.
Yes, it is scary, but I wanted to know all this when my son was wanting to go to Uni.
- So I could prepare him for social & predatory violence situations
- Make sure he wasn’t one of the 75%
- My peace of mind as a parent
Having no fuel for a week won’t really effect the rest of my life, but an assault whether a mugging or sexual would have effected his and then the rest of the families life.
Experiencing violence at university has a significant impact on self-confidence, mental health, studies, social life and even may lead to dropping out of their degree courses all together.
Respondents considered or engaged in academic consequences that included;
25% skipping lectures, tutorials, changing or dropping certain modules to avoid the perpetrators and 16% suspending their studies or dropping out of their degree.
So YES, I do think Self Defence training is important fornot only those going to Uni but for everyone.
What can you do?
Talk to them, explain the fun and excitement of being independent, having no parents looking over you, being disappointed at you for coming home at 6am to turn round and be at a lecture for 8am.
Point out the responsibilities that go with the above, like being aware of who you mix with. They may seem all nice at first, but then slowly put demands on you.
Red Flags:
Forced Teaming: This is when a person implies that they have something in common with their chosen victim
Loan Sharking: generously offers assistance or gifts.
Overly controlling behaviour: People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you.
Discounting the word “NO”: Declining to hear “no” is a signal that someone is either seeking control or refusing to relinquish it.
Text Links: send links or get a friend to send them advice sites so they can look at them in their own time. You will be surprised, they will check them out.
Here are a couple:
https://www.betterup.com/blog/red-flags-in-a-relationship
https://isdsi.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/The-7-Things-Predators-Do-to-Turn-People-Into-Prey.pdf
Self Defence Workshops: There are plenty of martial arts schools in the area, who may offer a self defence workshop or private training.
If going the private training route, as if you can go as a family, then you can practice at home and all benefit for the session.
E-Learning Self Defence Workshop: These are great as you can learn in your own time and the whole family can learn too. Accessible 24/7 where ever you are, so can practice at Uni too.
BESAFE Today I’m a bit biased as this is my own E-Learning Workshop, but it is too the point and easy to learn, understand and remember. The techniques and advice in the workshop is the same that I teach in my Self Defence Workshops that I deliver to Businesses, High Schools/University Students, Teachers, Retail Staff and Loneworkers.